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Missing gear was replaced with a identical copy, comprised of the same metal (brass) as the original. Gears Input: 1x gold-plated pocket watch Setting: Fine Output: Small clockwork bird.

D-00104 was dispatched to SCP-914, and instructed to turn the key and activate SCP-914.The sheet appears to be a single page from the entered SCP-914 documentation, however when flipped over to the right, the reverse side is the following page in sequence. It is unknown whether 914 selected a Foundation's front out of pure whimsy, or because of some other criteria. Paint samples tested to be oil paints made from beeswax, calcined bones, piled glass, and mineral pigments, with indications that pigments were hand ground. Name: Professor "Q" Date: ██/██/20██ Total Items: One (1) chessboard, initial setup Setting: 1:1 Output: One (1) chessboard, white king's pawn moved up 2 spaces. Setting: 1:1 Output: One miniature pipe identical to that in the print, with "C'est une pipe" engraved on it. Setting: 1:1 Output: A near identical print, with "This is not a pipe" written in in English in the same hand as in the original. When the door was opened, it immediately began "swimming" around the room and out the door. Setting: Rough Output: A mass of bone splinters, broken teeth, and scraps of translucent red tissue of various sizes.When flipped over to the left, the opposite side is the preceding page in sequence. dollars Setting: Fine Output: A shareholder's note for "Soap from Corpses Products", worth one hundred U. Update: As in ██/██/████, Soap from Corpses Products' shares skyrocketed, and the aforementioned 'Fine' output is now worth $████ (USD). Date: ██/█/20██ Total items: 5x Bronze replicas of the Pioneer 10 and 11 plaques. Further testing suggests painting dates to early 16th century. Input: board as above, with black pawn moved to legal position Setting: 1:1 Output: One (1) chessboard, as above with white queen moved diagonally to legal position. Tissue was observed to twitch spasmodically for several hours before activity ceased. Setting: Coarse Output: Subject was divided up into organized piles of tissue, including but not limited to (presumably) muscle tissue, two piles of ground bone tissue (the significance of this division, if any, is unknown), teeth, skin, a total of approximately seventeen (17) meters of esophageal tissue divided into numerous coils, and approximately fifteen (15) kilograms of rotting human flesh littered with splinters of bone, shreds of fabric, and a tattered laminated ID tag identifying its owner as D-09355. Single mothers are bona fide idiots and here is why you should never even consider dating one: First, this is a woman who clearly doesn’t give a shit about her child’s well-being and future prospects. Lumping her in with single mothers is an insult to his memory, to her and to her children. Divorced mothers are also NOT single mothers, although a huge flashing PROCEED WITH CAUTION sign is definitely in order. A single mother is a woman who had a child outside of any established relationship, or a relationship so fragile the thickest retard in the world ought to have been able to see bringing a child on board was a FUCKING TERRIBLE IDEA.