Proportion of men to women on dating sites

31 Dec

Countless women have expressed joy at finally being able to wear the sexy clothes they wouldn’t dare put on anywhere else in public.

They talk about a boost in self-confidence, how they feel desire when men look at them approvingly.

I hear this often from people who know of my research with the swinging population, which they consider deviant and suspicious.

A colleague once commented that “swinging” wives are to be pitied since they have to “endure” these unrealistic demands from overbearing and oversexed husbands, and they should be viewed as victims of this male-dominated lifestyle.

Women in swinging score very high on the self-determination scale, meaning, they are in absolute control of their decisions and are unlikely to be easily swayed by others.

Rules: Every couple starts with rules that are generally designed to deal with each individual’s insecurities.

The following are some of the rules: Generally, rules are modified after the couple's comfort and trust levels increase.

One of the most surprising, and apparently, benefits of swinging for women is trust.

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Over time rules become no longer relevant or even obsolete.

According to my research findings, all of the above comments couldn’t be further from the truth.

I have compiled hundreds and hundreds of hours of interviews with couples in the swinging lifestyle, and one of my first questions is how did the couple get involved in the swinging lifestyle, and how is the wife handling it.

One study subject puts the rationale for trust in perspective: “Why would your husband go elsewhere for sex, if he can have access to other women in a stimulating environment with his wife’s participation and consent?

And why would a woman look for a sexual tryst elsewhere when she can get everything she wants sexually from swinging with the consent and approval of her husband?