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02 May

My father has recently taunted her with this overheard info first time in three years. At the same time I can’t drive away the visions of her having sex before marriage with another man.I find myself wondering about the details like how she managed to have sex before marriage with anyone in a small town, how deeply in love she must’ve been to have disregarded the most important family restriction, whether she gave him farewell sex etc.But to outsiders, you must put up a joint front – you must look like one inseparable unit.Hence you need to know at least what others know – i.e. Believe me Anon, you do not need to know any more than this to ward off well-meaning hints and suggestions from outsiders.She hasn’t confessed anything about any sex before marriage to this date in spite of my insistence.Whenever I ask her anything about this she gives vague replies, urging me to move on and look at the future instead of the past.I’d expressed intentions of joining Facebook and connecting with her batch mates in the hope of finding out about her past and whether she had sex before marriage. Normally I would tell you to close your eyes, take a deep breath and let it go.She vehemently opposed this and refused to give away even the names of her classmates. In spite of what all this might suggest, I love her. Usually you achieve nothing by finding out the details of your spouse’s sex-life before he/she met you.

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So the middle ground here is to know only as much as is necessary, and in this case you have a right to demand that information from your wife. Tell her first that you love her as she is, and that you have realized that finding out intricate details about her past life is not going to help your relationship. Between the two of you, you might have issues (every couple has).

I tried to be there for him but he totally withdrew and would reject my advances and we started fighting a lot because of it.

He told me he loves me, but felt like I was smothering him and he needed to find himself.

basics like how many past relationships she’s been in, how many of them she’s had sex with and who was the last. At the same time you must promise (her and yourself) never to entertain these advances from outsiders. Coming to the question of your parents’ reaction – you should remember that your wife is living with your parents.

It’s she who’s moved to a new home and made a new family her own, not them.