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03 Feb

We can respectfully give the middle finger to the culture and walk away, in a fashion not unlike a man walking from an exploding building without looking over his shoulder.There is a growing movement of people advocating what I’ll broadly term as “sustainable sex”: Sex that endures.All the joy, comfort and unity that sex brings are being sold to pornography, and a psychological attachment is made — not to a woman — but to a screen.It’s no wonder that we’re witnessing a generation of men addicted to pixels but unable to perform with an actual person. We’ve made our sex depend on contraception, but contraception cannot provide.Men have seen hundreds of fake-breasted, airbrushed, aroused-to-the-point-of-myocardial-infarction pixels, all contorted into positions that would make an Olympic gymnast proud — before they have lain with an actual, warm-blooded woman.As Naomi Wolf noted in her article “The Porn Myth”: Here is what young women tell me on college campuses when the subject comes up: They can’t compete, and they know it.And we can see the final inaction, the paling of sex, the sexual dysfunction.All I’m suggesting is that these things are not unrelated: Our culture is experiencing the untimely death of sex. We, individual human beings, can do whatever we want.

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For the first time in human history, the images’ power and allure have supplanted that of real naked women. Worse, the practice of masturbation releases oxytocin into the male system, a chemical that facilitates human bonding, increases in trust, and decreases in fear.On the one hand, anal sex is more popular than ever, sex shops are reporting massive increases in the sale of nipple clamps, and the average age a boy is exposed to hardcore pornography is 14, all to which we applaud: Sexy stuff indeed.But on the other — as a 2011 article published in Psychology Today concluded — the use of internet pornography has created a generation of men who cannot be aroused by their actual, real life partners, and that “many are becoming convinced that [erectile dysfunction] at twenty-something is normal.” Not so sexy.Our current sexual culture is fed by pornography (which it seems to be, given that approximately 70 percent of men ages 18-24 regularly visit porn sites), which supplies us with demands of sex that cannot be met in reality. Contraception offers us freedom from unwanted pregnancy, but despite the near universal use of contraception, one out of every two American pregnancies are unplanned, and two thirds of unplanned pregnancies — representing about two million annual pregnancies — are unwanted.Sixty percent of abortions are performed on women who were using contraception at the time they conceived a child.